


Only Love

by kwiyoomii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Break Up, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, M/M, mostly angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 05:08:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28576500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwiyoomii/pseuds/kwiyoomii
Summary: The way Atsumu and Kiyoomi fall in love is completely unlike either of them. Their story started slowly, neither of them coming to terms with what they felt for the other. They played off their feelings until it got too much to ignore. That's when they realised,oh I might be a little in love with him.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi
Kudos: 5





	Only Love

The way Atsumu and Kiyoomi fall in love is completely unlike either of them. Their story started slowly, neither of them coming to terms with what they felt for the other. They played off their feelings until it got too much to ignore. That's when they realised, _oh I might be a little in love with him_.

* * *

Miya Atsumu is often described as a whirlwind. He bursts into people's lives and they are left with no choice but to be dragged along with him, to experience his radiant joy, his unending love. Miya Atsumu is used to making impulsive decisions. He never cares about the consequences of his actions. He knows he is impulsive. People have told him before. He himself sees it in the way he runs his mouth around others, in the way he provokes opposing players. Even so, he never bothers to watch his words or think about their consequences. His life follows the principle of acting first, thinking later.

But this time is different. This time, the time Atsumu realises that he has come to develop feelings for Kiyoomi, that their rivalry turned friendship somehow evolved into a crush. Atsumu doesn't want to rush along headfirst and do something he'll regret later. He decides that for the first time in his twenty three years of living, he wants to think before acting.

So he thinks. He thinks of the time he first saw Sakusa. Sakusa who for some reason, couldn't stand him. Maybe it was because he'd overheard Atsumu talking about his freaky wrists, maybe it was because he didn't like loudmouths in general. He'll never know. He thinks about all the games they've played against each other, standing on either side of the net, refusing to back down. He thinks of the time Sakusa joined MSBY Black Jackals. Sakusa still couldn't stand to be around him. He could see it in his tense shoulders, the way he clenched his jaw whenever Atsumu got too near or spoke too loudly. Atsumu hadn't liked how Sakusa was the only person who staunchly refused to warm up to his personality. He'd made it his mission to get some reaction out of Sakusa. He thinks of the stupid nickname he'd given him to rile him up-Omi. He thinks about how "Omi" went from being a mocking nickname to one laced with fondness. He thinks about how over the months, they'd become closer to each other. He thinks of all the moments he's spent with Omi, just the two of them alone, at restaurants, at either one's apartment. He thinks of how safe he feels when he's with Kiyoomi, how the insecurities that gnaw at him lay dormant when its just the two of them.

Atsumu thinks of all the things they've been through together, starting from the moment they met. He decides he doesn't want to lose the connection he has with Kiyoomi. He doesn't want to be impulsive and let his feelings open a fissure between them. So he waits. He keeps his little thoughts to himself and waits.

Sakusa Kiyoomi is the exact opposite of Miya Atsumu. He prides himself on his strict routines, his immaculate lifestyle, his cleanliness. He takes pride in his ability to remain calm and think rationally no matter what the situation is. People describe him as a rock, steady in his beliefs, unwilling to adjust to bossy people. But just like everyone else, he too was dragged along by the hurricane that was Miya Atsumu.

The realisation that he likes Miya doesn't come as a surprise to him. He'd expected it. Somewhere between the setter memorising his cleaning routines and making sure he's always okay in crowded spaces, somewhere between him always keeping extra hand sanitisers and masks on him in case Kiyoomi ever forgets, somewhere between their walks home, Kiyoomi is hit with the faint realisation that he might have a crush on Atsumu.

He would catch himself huffing out amused breaths at Atsumu's lame jokes. During practice, he would catch himself staring at Atsumu a beat too long when he sets the ball in a perfect arc for it to slam satisfyingly against his palm and he would shake his head to clear his mind of all these thoughts. All those times, Sakusa grew more and more aware of his developing crush on the infuriating setter.

Sakusa Kiyoomi is a man who faces things head on. He isn't afraid to make his decisions, and he's always sure of the decisions he did make. However, when the realisation that he likes Atsumu hits him, he finds himself hesitating. He considers all the ways this could go wrong. Atsumu could laugh at him and hold this over his head. He could tell their teammates and Kiyoomi will forever be tortured by their remarks. Atsumu could be disgusted by Kiyoomi's confession. He could remove himself from Kiyoomi's presence entirely, leaving behind a chasm in Kiyoomi's heart.

Kiyoomi considers a world where Miya Atsumu keeps his distance from him. Once, years ago, Kiyoomi would've been delighted at that prospect. But now, it only brings a pang to his heart. He wants to savour whatever Atsumu was willing to give him. And if that comes in the form of friendship, he would gladly take it. So he too decides to take it slow. He decides to bury his feelings inside and go on with his life.

With their decisions made, the two dance around each other. A touch that lasts longer than necessary, flirty jokes with a hint of truth hidden within, sarcastic banter that has become too soft around the edges, eyes that linger on the other when they make a perfect play, smiles that barely supresses the love they feel. They dance around each other, but neither finds the courage to admit their feelings, because each made their decision months ago and each choose to stick to it.

Until one day when one of them, maybe both, crack under the weight of their feelings and spill out their heart. Their eyes light up with happiness to find out that their feelings were mutual. Their hearts dance with joy when they realise that no, they wont lose their precious friendship, instead, it will turn into something even more beautiful.

Their feelings, now no longer hidden, envelop them in a warm embrace. Miya turns into a soft Atsumu whispered only for two people to hear. Omi becomes Kiyoomi, spoken with an intimacy that leaves them reeling. Together, they begin a new phase of their lives, filled with loving touches, fond smiles, shy glances.

Kiyoomi loves how Atsumu is always willing to adjust to his little habits. He loves how Atsumu is mindful of his boundaries. He loves how Atsumu's extroverted nature perfectly compliments his introverted one. He loves how Atsumu has a habit of rambling about anything and everything. He could spend hours listening to him talking about how smart octopi are or about the weird feeding habits of animals.

Atsumu loves how Kiyoomi never seems to mind his loud nature. He knows he comes off as annoying to some people, but Kiyoomi never minded it. He loves how Kiyoomi knows exactly how to calm him down if he got too excited. He loves how he can be himself around Kiyoomi, without the fear of being judged. He loves the parts of Kiyoomi that only he sees, how he smiles softly at the cats they pass by on their walk home, how he adores stuffed animals, how he always has a stuffed toy he'd cuddle at night. He loves how Kiyoomi can always tell when he's cranky, and somehow manages to make him smile again.

They were two puzzle pieces that fit together perfectly. The yin to the other's yang. A match made in heaven.

There's a saying that goes, no matter how perfect a thing seems to be, it will always have little cracks, little fissures, little imperfections on it, because that's how life is. Nothing is perfect.

The same could be said for Kiyoomi's and Atsumu's relationship. What appeared perfect in their first few months together, slowly started to fall apart piece by piece. It's the little things. It's always the little things. They flow by silently like a stream, slowly chipping away at something that once was as strong as bedrock.

The end to their perfect time together comes slowly. It starts with the difference in how they express their love.

Atsumu loves like he does anything else. He is loud with his love, always making sure the other knew he was pouring out his everything. His love is expressed in the spontaneous dates he takes them on. It is expressed in his touches, in the gifts he buys for Omi, in his hugs, in the way he carefully holds Kiyoomi's hand. It is expressed in the whispered _'I love you'_ s that is for Kiyoomi's ears and Kiyoomi's ears only.

Kiyoomi is the opposite of Atsumu, like he is in everything else. It's what drew them together in the first place. Kiyoomi loves quietly. He's never seen the point in outrageous declarations of love. For him, love is the care one shows the other. His love is expressed in the lunch boxes he carefully prepares for Atsumu. It is expressed in the way he tidies Atsumu's room every time he sees it becoming too messy. It's in the way he keeps a blanket aside for Atsumu on their movie nights because Atsumu gets cold easily. His love is in his rare smiles, the hand he extends for Atsumu to hold, the way he looks after Atsumu when he's sick, forgetting his own fear of germs.

Atsumu couldn't see the love Omi was pouring out for him. He couldn't see the care Omi put into his every action. To him, it was just another lunchbox, just another one of Omi's habitual cleaning sprees. He couldn't recognise it as a symbol of love because for him, love was different. He begins questioning if his boyfriend actually loves him. The doubts claw its way into his brain and lay there festering until Atsumu slowly withdraws into himself, until he stops dragging Kiyoomi out on their innumerable dates, until the whispered _'I love you'_ s fade into a dark abyss. His insecurities climb back up from the deep recesses in his mind. They force his mask back on, and he goes back to being the smug asshole everyone knew him as. The quiet part of him, the part that was only for Kiyoomi's eyes buries itself under his facade.

Kiyoomi doesn't notice the changes that overcomes his boyfriend. He doesn't notice that the number of dates they've been going on dwindled until they barely see each other outside practice. Maybe he _does_ notice. Maybe he notices all this and pushes it to the back of his mind because he's ashamed to find out that deep inside he's glad he's not being forced to spend time outside. He knows Atsumu wouldn't have minded if he told him he was not in the mood for going out. But Kiyoomi hadn't wanted to make Atsumu feel bad. Instead, he pretended he was fine and forced a smile on his face as Atsumu happily pulled him across crowded parks and aquariums. He doesn't notice the bitterness that grew silently in his heart. The bitterness that he had to put himself in uncomfortable situations for Atsumu's sake.

The two of them drift apart slowly. The spark that once used to be there faded into embers.

They both see it coming. An end to their relationship. A part of them wants to desperately hold on to the dying embers, wants to try to salvage whatever feelings they had left. But another part of them feels relieved. Relieved that they wouldn't have to pretend anymore. Relieved that they wouldn't have to see the other's strained smiles.

So when the time comes for them to part ways there's no heartbreak or dramatic sobbing. There's just a pang of sadness for what could've been. Neither of them blame the other for the breakup. Both knew that they could've been having the time of their lives if they'd put in a bit more effort, if they'd learned to communicate with each other, if they'd learned how the other's love worked. But in the end, neither of them did. Perhaps, they both think wistfully, perhaps in another timeline, maybe in the future, they would be able to rekindle the sparks of their broken relationship and begin a new life together.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Finally! After days of procrastinating, I finally finished my first fic on ao3. Thank you so much for reading this short fic. Comments and constructive criticisms are always appreciated :) If you want more sakuatsu brainrot, check out my twt [ @kwiyoomii ](https://twitter.com/kwiyoomii). I post short thread fics sometimes. I've fallen into the pit of sakuatsu brainrot and I don't think there's an escape.


End file.
